Cruise options

On the cruise ship, many of the mundane tasks were done by, I'm assuming, house elves. Stuff was always mysteriously straightened up, fixed, or prepared. Every evening, they had been by to turn down our beds, fluff our pillows, leave a mint, and sculpt our new towels into increasingly elaborate shapes (the final night mine was folded into the shaped of Westminster Abbey!), the house elves would leave a schedule of things to do the following day. Well each day, one of the scheduled items was a "Friends of Dorothy Get-together." Now, from watching the movie "Clueless" about 600 times, Margaret and I were familiar with this euphemism for a gay person, but we thought it was such an odd title for the schedule. I guess it was to protect all the blue-haired ladies from going completely ballistic that such folk were on board and have them retreat to the ship's chapel to pray for their immortal souls rather than spend two times the cost of their cruise on bingo and booze. When we got back, I asked a mission friend if "Friends of Dorothy Get-together" meant what we thought it meant. He replied that, yes, it definitely did. And I trust him, as he's a Friend of Dorothy© himself.

Now don't get all shocked to hear that a Mormon return missionary is gay. I'm sure if you've been reading this blog for more than four or five days you'll have realized that the Norwegian mission was quite... close to excommunication liberal. Among the group I was there with, not only are there gays but there are people who have been in federal prison, voted for John Kerry, didn't get married in the temple, have consumed alcohol, have watched rated R movies, chronically drive over the posted speed limit, and the coup de grâce, are ACCOUNTANTS! This is so the opposite of the rural Brazilian returned missionaries who all became seminary teachers and have an average of 6.8 children.