Electrocution

We have a circa 1940's oven and range that has definitely seen better days. I'm sure at the time it was the bee's knees, but an oven capable of only roasting a single Cornish game hen or one crême brulée at a time was getting old. One time we bought a pizza at Costco and had to cut it in half to fit it in the oven. (It's small because it has an interchangable burner that can be used as an indoor grill and all the fat drippings had to be sent somewhere...somewhere being a third of the oven space. Also, the preheat doesn't turn itself off when the oven has heated up. I can't tell you how many times we have pulled things out of the oven completely burnt on top but uncooked in the middle because the broiler burner was on the whole time! If it was only the small oven and bad design of the preheating mode, we would have probably just lived with it, but the thing isn't grounded and so if you happen to be touching the stove and ever so SLIGHTLY brush the sink with even a fingertip you get an execution-level shock. One time Margaret forgot about it and put her hand in the sink full of water and couldn't pull it out without a lot of effort. If only I'd have had a stick, I could have freed her.

Anyway, after EIGHT YEARS of living with that range, we committed to getting a new one...and it didn't come cheap, either, as we don't have space for a ventilation hood so had to get a downdraft model with increases the price to the cost of a commercial oven at Costco. Well, when the installers came, they said it wouldn't fit and just took it back. I was a little incredulous, wondering if the installers were just being lazy, so I did my own research and, lo and behold, it's perfectly capable of being installed. When I called Sears to complain, they were extremely apologetic about it and promised a resolution, but still...there's a Costco pizza waiting to christen our new oven that's not getting any fresher. At least in the meantime, we can amuse ourselves by tricking each other to touch the stove and sink at the same time.