You know how cool it is when you stumble upon something completely unexpected. Something that you didn't even know EXISTED? Something that's very existence makes the world a little sweeter? Well I stumbled upon such a thing this weekend. (And no, it wasn't the Book of Mormon, smart arse!) Portland's heavy rains and high winds conspired to force me to do some yard work, specifically cut off all the branches of our rose bush. The poor thing had blown over into our driveway and every time we couldn't pull all the way into the driveway, I was reminded that I needed to come out to take care of it. After I cut off the branches, I got our yard debris container, which felt really heavy for being supposedly empty. When I took the lid off, I found a bright red glass tommy gun-shaped bottle! No, I'm serious; the bottle was literally RED! I'd discovered remnants from some kicking Christmas party. (Because nothing says the birth of Christ like a bottle of devil water shaped like an automatic weapon... Silent night, Holy night, All is calm...) Evidently is was at one time filled with tequila, but instead of taking the cool bottle home and displaying it next to his Fabergé egg collection, some shite-faced drunk ABANDONED it in our green waste bin and now I have something to decorate the baby's room with! Or better yet, put a nipple on it for an ironic baby bottle we can use for feedings at the next NRA meeting, ward party, or hip-hop concert we go to! (After boiling it for a day or three, though. All our baby books say you can never be too safe.)
Monday, January 07, 2008
Christmas revels
You know how cool it is when you stumble upon something completely unexpected. Something that you didn't even know EXISTED? Something that's very existence makes the world a little sweeter? Well I stumbled upon such a thing this weekend. (And no, it wasn't the Book of Mormon, smart arse!) Portland's heavy rains and high winds conspired to force me to do some yard work, specifically cut off all the branches of our rose bush. The poor thing had blown over into our driveway and every time we couldn't pull all the way into the driveway, I was reminded that I needed to come out to take care of it. After I cut off the branches, I got our yard debris container, which felt really heavy for being supposedly empty. When I took the lid off, I found a bright red glass tommy gun-shaped bottle! No, I'm serious; the bottle was literally RED! I'd discovered remnants from some kicking Christmas party. (Because nothing says the birth of Christ like a bottle of devil water shaped like an automatic weapon... Silent night, Holy night, All is calm...) Evidently is was at one time filled with tequila, but instead of taking the cool bottle home and displaying it next to his Fabergé egg collection, some shite-faced drunk ABANDONED it in our green waste bin and now I have something to decorate the baby's room with! Or better yet, put a nipple on it for an ironic baby bottle we can use for feedings at the next NRA meeting, ward party, or hip-hop concert we go to! (After boiling it for a day or three, though. All our baby books say you can never be too safe.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Honestly I'm so glad I got to see it in person- the photo really doesn't do it justice. Another thing to think about- who was the person who came up with the design in the first place-oh and of course you should keep it for the baby shower- oh, the games we will have...ber
Arse? Shite? Are you going Brit on us? You know, adding an extra letter to a curse word does not make it any less naughty!
Post a Comment