All fine, upstanding Mormon teens get an important rite of passage around the time their twelve. And I'm not talking about learning that most of what they're going to be feeling for the next 10-15 years is filthy, disgusting, immoral, and shameful you should only do with the one you love after marriage. No, I'm talking about when they trade in their
Children's Friend subscription for the way more edgy,
sexy, adolescent magazine
The New Era. Well, one of the features of this magazine was a centerfold poster giving a spiritual message, and two of the most famous ones are below, albeit delightfully subverted. (Not that I condone such a thing. Uh, I'm just showing how the Devil makes people do wicked, wicked, hilarious things.)
This first one originally stated, "Be your own kind of beautiful." Although this poster is a little closer to the truth:
The caption on this next one was originally, "Get yourself into a tight squeeze." But I love this version, which reminds me of a friend who met someone on
ldssingles.com and after several dates, got an email from the guy's wife asking her why she's emailing her husband. Oops! (And no, it wasn't a polygamy thing or the wife would have been okay with it.)
Ah satire. My favorite genre! Which reminds me of an underground mission newsletter filled with satire and parody I used to write in Norway that almost got me in a LOT of trouble. But that's the stuff for a post on another day.
4 comments:
Something so sad to tell you...
The "I'm off diet coke" t-shirt is sold out on seriouslysoblessed.com.
So sad. At least you have the plan.
What do you mean... almost got you in trouble? Remember that we had to do the Mission Reunion all because of that newsletter?
Man if you ever want to quit you job. I bet Mormonads would totally hire you.
What kind of idiot would meet and date a married guy on an online singles service? Lame!!
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