Growing up, there wasn't a single tv show that my siblings and I followed with more religious fervor than Knight Rider. From the exciting intro music with KITT speeding across the desert, red scanner lights tracking back and forth, to the final narration of "one man can make a difference, in the world of... the Knight Rider," we would be absolutely MESMERIZED! A car that was indestructible, could talk, could drive itself--and I won't even get me started on the turbo boost, (a gimmick my brother and I would use when racing each other--we'd pretend we were running all out, then, after lulling the other into a sense of complacency, shout "turbo boost" and run as fast we could, just like KITT!). There was never any question on Sunday nights of what we were going to watch--and we just assumed that our parents were as enamored with Knight Rider as we were, because, hey, check out that car--who couldn't help but be absolutely ENTRANCED by that car!

Well, a couple of days ago, Margaret and I were at Target and they had a collection of 80's tv Halloween costumes for adults. They had Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice, Magnum, from Magnum P.I., and, joy of joys, MICHAEL FRICKIN' KNIGHT! It had the black Member's Only jacket (the kind with the epaulets), a permed wig, and a red shirt--but the coup de grâce was the talking wristwatch. When you pressed it, KITT would say things like "I'm scanning the area," "I need a tune-up," or "How is it that I can act better than you, Michael, and I'm just a car?" Seeing the costume didn't make me want to get it (I had the purple pants, remember), but it did put me in a nostalgic mood, so on the way home, I rented the first disc of the first season of Knight Rider. When we got home, we watched the pilot--Holy crap! I have no idea how that tv show survived--it was long, inplausible, and had AWFUL acting. My worldview, shaped by the quest for justice that Knight Rider represented, was crumbling around me. We thought that maybe it was just a fluke and the actual weekly episodes would be better--uh uh, no such luck. What I learned from watching a few of the episodes was that as a child, all I registered was the car could talk, jump, activate turbo boost, and scare away dogs that tried to pee on his tires. Little did I know that that was all there was to the show. In one of the episodes, Michael has to rush a state senator back to the state capitol for an important floor vote--yes, you heard that right, AN IMPORTANT FLOOR VOTE! Talk about edge-of-your-seat suspense--will she beat those dirty Republicans trying to pass an energy bill favorable to an oil company?--hey, wait...nah, that's TOTALLY implausible. Margaret and I couldn't help but laugh throughout the shows, and I'm sure she sprained her eyes rolling them so much at the ridiculous plot devices and turns. I can't believe that my parents tolerated watching that show with us--oh the sacrifices they made for their children! After that experience, I have no more illusions--the last of my childhood beliefs have been pushed away, the harsh light of an appreciation of good writing and plausible plotlines driving away the last remnants of the world of the Knight Rider. I'm glad that I've learned my lesson and only watch quality shows that have completely believable plotlines and superb acting--like Smallville.