Friday, June 23, 2006

Shave already

Every once in a while--like twice a week at least--I see someone on the bus that if I were ruder would get out my camera and take a picture. Two incidents this week had me wishing that I had one of those secret agent spy cameras, because what I saw made me cringe, and I just wish I could have shared the moment with the internets. Both of these incidents have to do with hair, but oftentimes they have to do with poor clothing choices, odd piercings, pornographic tattoos, or festering wounds. You never know what you're going to be entertained with when riding public transportation. Anyway, first incident: I learned first-hand why men with beards should shave below their jawline. A guy got on the train who just grew out a beard with maintaining it in any way--you couldn't tell where it ended. It wasn't long enough to just hang down like Santa's--it was just a solid mat that disappeared under his t-shirt. Talk about a missing link! Intelligent designers HATE when they come out in public. There's a guy at my gym who would have this problem, too, but he evidently took matters into the 21st century. The solution makes him look fine when he has a shirt on, but when he takes his shirt off, you can see that he's had electrolysis done on his neck and upper body to prevent gorilla back and chest from sticking out from his clothes. Well the effect in the locker room is a guy wearing a white dickie around his neck or one of those Elizabethan collars. Hopefully he's just saving up for the full procedure.

The second incident involved a guy who really needs a significant other to remind him to shave his neck. I sat down behind him on the bus and couldn't avoid looking at the mat of fur that came off the top of his head and disappeared down the back of his shirt. It was then that I was cursing my camera phone, because when you snap a picture, it makes a loud camera shutter sound--presumably to prevent people from secretly taking pictures of other people. Imagine someone who would do... oh wait. Oh well, you'll have to be content with the written descriptions.

If I ever fall victim of either of these problems, I hope someone will tell me. And at the rate that my hair is migrating off the top of my head, I'm sure I'm in a high-risk category.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Remember the time when you asked me to clip the hair over your ears and you ended up with white walls?