Pewter merchant

The Pirates of the Caribbean movie party this weekend went great. I had on my pirate shirt, but didn’t have any leather pants to wear with it (they were at the cleaners after a crazy thing that happened at a night club a while back, but that’s another story). Anyway, I wore some cargo pants that were brown, which I figured looked leather-colored enough. Unfortunately when I got in line with the rest of our group, they said I looked more like a colonial pewter merchant than a pirate. Great—I try to look like Long John Silver and end up looking like Jonny Tremain! Also, since I didn’t want to walk around with the shirt on (afraid of being the victim of a pewter merchant hate-crime) I waited to put on the shirt when I got in line. Of course after I got all dressed, I discovered that I’d left my cell phone in the car and others in our group were going to call us when they got there, so I had to walk back to the mall parking lot to get it. I tried to cop a I’m-a-bloodthirsty-pirate-so-don’t-mess-with-me attitude but it probably came across as a I’m-a-complete-dandy-in-my-foofy-shirt attitude, which is why people probably avoided me.

Margaret got everyone hooks and eye patches, so we were quite the group going into the theatre. There was plenty of “arr’s” being passed around. I had to laugh at all the other pirate-related outfits that the other movie-goers had on. Right behind us in line was a gay couple, one of which had on a high school sports team-style t-shirt that said, “Butte Pirates.” I don’t know what actual residents of Butte would think of it, what with Brokeback Mountain and all, but the Portlanders were sure getting a kick out of it.

After the movie, which was great, we went to a British pub nearby. I was still in my puffy shirt, and was disappointed that it didn’t even attract any attention. No one was inspired to having a glass of rum, either—which I guess confirmed that I WAS dressed as a pious pewter merchant.