Split seams

This morning I saw someone on the bus who had either gained a lot of weight since he bought his hat or else he REALLY liked a hat that was too small but was determined to make it work. The hat was fitted, so there wasn't any way to adjust it--other than ripping the seam out. I have to wonder if he cut it himself or if it was like ripping the crotch in you pants--one morning he went to put on his hat and heard a loud RIIIIP as he pulled it on.

Speaking of which, I remember one time my dad took my brother and me to some sporting event at an indoor arena. My brother put on a pair of bellbottom jeans that the outside seam was ripped all the way up to his knee. He didn't care, but my dad told him to go change his pants. Well, not to be bothered with having to take off those pants and finding another pair of pants that were clean, he did what anyone else would do in that situation... he "fixed" the pants by holding the seam together with toothpicks! This held up long enough to pass inspection by dad, and we all headed to the game. Well, when we were walking to our seats in the arena, we walked by an air conditioning vent and the force blew the toothpick-held seam wide open. He was like a little boy version of Marilyn Monroe, with flowing demin flapping in the wind. My dad just laughed and my brother could care less.