College freshmen

This year's Beloit College "mindset list" for the incoming college freshmen was just released. YIKES! Here are a few of the items for this year's crop-born in 1988...yes, 1988! Which means that next year's batch will have been born the year I was a college freshman myself!

1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
   Actually, I can't remember much previous to Gorbachev, but I do remember mention of the USSR in that Billy Joel song "We didn't start the fire."...and that Gorbachev had that giant birthmark on his forehead. Yes, it's the important things one remembers.


2. They have known only two presidents.
   Okay, this one is so crazy. Imagine having been cognizant of only Clinton and W! What kind of worldview do these kids have? The first president I can remember was Carter, mainly because kids in the schoolyard sang a song to the Oscar Meier song that went: "My bologna has a first name, it's J-I-M-M-Y, my bologna has a second name, it's C-A-R-T-E-R. And if you ask me, why, I'll say (something, something, something, something), 'cause Jimmy Carter has a way, of messing up the USA." I had no idea how he'd messed up the USA--probably his policies toward energy conservation as a means of reducing our reliance on Middle Eastern oil...man, what a WACKO! Good thing Reagan reversed those! Imagine what kind of crazy, mixed up world we'd live in if he hadn't!


3. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.
   This one amazed me. I remember riding around sitting under the shopping cart, in constant danger of getting a hand run over by the wheels--and we liked it!


4. Reality shows have always been on television.
   Ah, I can remember those naive first seasons of MTV's Real World. That show was a college staple. I remember telling my roommate once, who was a senior dating a much younger freshman, "You two have nothing in common. You keep talking about Real World:New York and she can only remember as far back as Real World:London. Now they're probably on to Real World:Omaha. Speaking of which, when we were in Philidephia a few years back, we asked our server how to get to the Liberty Bell. She didn't know (it ended up being a couple blocks away--on the same STREET as the restaurant) but she could tell us where all the bars, hang-outs, and apartment were from Real World:Philadelphia. At least she had her priorities!


5. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
   This one is just sad. Especially since the government just finished up with its Economic Impact Study on the economic impacts of abolishing slavery. Fortunately Lincoln didn't wait until they were done with the study before he made a decision. Hopefully we won't be completing the study after all the oceans are flooded and we live in Waterworld.

You can read the entire list here.