Transportation

As a former Norwegian missionary, I have access to a super-secure website where former Norwegian missionaries can post photos, list contact information, offer cheap prescription drugs, and tell innappropriate spiritual stories. Over the weekend, someone who served in the 1960's posted several photos, including this one of him in the coolest missionary vehicle of all time. Can you imagine seeing two young Americans lumbering around your little Scandinavian village in this thing? Plus, from the state it looks like it's in, they spent more time keeping it running than actually doing missionary work (which maybe was the point...) I nearly got to use a car twice while I was in Norway. The first time, I was moving to a new area and my new companion totalled the car the morning I was set to arrive. Evidently he'd stayed up all night cleaning an apartment for a transition from elder's apartment to a sister's apartment (which, as you could imagine, is next to impossible to achieve--much like Hercules cleaning the Augean stables--only I'm sure the Augean stables smelled better.) Anyway, Elder Salsa (name changed, but vaguely similar to real name so people will know who I'm talking about) was one to never, EVER break a rule (and to this day, I don't know why the mission president put us together. Was it to whip me into shape or loosen up my companion? As it was, we were both so stubborn that we both got worse in our own respective way--it was in that era I founded an underground mission gossip paper--yes, yes, I'm probably going to Hell, but the paper was REALLY funny!) Anyway, back to Elder Salsa. Despite going to bed at 4:00 am, he woke up at 6:30, since that's the mission rule. Later during the day, he fell asleep at the wheel and ran into a sign in the road (ironically a "stay in the right lane" sign) totalling the car. I never did get to drive in that area, but every time we rode the bus, I did it with seething resentment--which really helped me spread the word of God, I'm sure!

Another time I had an "almost" car was when my companion backed into a cement mixer and we had to take the car in for some body work and our loaner was a Skoda. I mean, who has ever even HEARD of this brand? It was a Czechoslovakian car whose name translates as "Sardine can death trap." The Skoda was tiny, didn't have any interior carpeting so was really loud, the seats were just visibly bolted to the metal floor, you had to stick your feet through the floor and run to get the car started, and you could see the road whizzing by if you looked at the opening where the gearshift was. It felt like an accident waiting to happen, although I guess the only accident it caused was having to be seen in it.