The 20th Century was a simpler time...

Geesh, I read in the paper this morning for a review of a new video game and am shocked... SHOCKED over over how much they have changed since I first started playing them. I remember playing 2-bit video graphics of just a pixelated Pac-Man with ridiculously simple sound with my brothers... and liking it--no, we really DID like it. When we moved up to the Nintendo Entertainment System, we thought we were in heaven--playing with Super Mario Brothers or the boxing game Mike Tyson's Punch Out--and to let you know how much of a simpler time it was, the game didn't include any special combinations to get Mike Tyson to bite off any opponent's ear. Yes, I told you it was OLD SCHOOL.

So, growing up in the climate of alternating between Nintendo and watching Thundercats on Saturday mornings, imagine my surprise when I read this review for a game called "Rumble Roses XX." (By the way, when I was talking to my brother about it, I made the mistake of saying, "Rumble Roses TWENTY" and his response was, "Uhh... the two X's aren't supposed to say 'twenty'...) After reading the review, that comment made a LOT more sense. Anyway, here's the review:

I expected "Rumble Roses XX to be a mediocre and slow-responding wrestling game where you get hit, fall down and you can't get up. But as it turned out it's defines, instead, by its redefinition of sensuous cheese.

You play as fatless, anime-busty women wearing underwear, or perhaps a smart display of cow-print chaps. These women walk sexy on catwalks, they pose for photos, they wrap their upper thighs around each other, and the loser gets tickled while you zoom your TV camera angle onto the body part of your choosing.

Man, that game sounds racier than most FOX sitcoms--and THAT'S saying something! Busty women? In underwear?? Wrestling??? Loser getting TICKLED????? It seems expressly designed to aggravate the Christian fundamentalists, feminists, AND legitimate users of cow-print chaps! What ever happened to the plumber trying to avoid the barrels rolled at him by a giant gorilla? That game only offended plumbers and animal rights activists.