Fun with impaled objects

Ugg, this morning, I read an article in the paper that actually made me a little queasy (and if you've eaten within the last half hour, log off and come back after your meal is settled). The article was about a guy who was suicidal, depressed, AND on meth. That's a bigger recipe for disaster than giving me the church calling where you get to file the church court disciplinary hearing records! (Speaking of which, I remember one time in the mission office, I was filing some missionary application forms and one sister's application jumped out at me because there was writing in the "Misdemeanors and felonies" section! As you could well imagine, given the reputation of Mormon missionaries, that particular field is NEVER filled in. Making sure that the Mission President was nowhere around, I read through the description: "I got pulled over for a traffic violation that turned into a misunderstanding." Wow! I'll say MISUNDERSTANDING if it resulted in a criminal record! Something told me that that was a major understatement... and knowing the sister, I wouldn't put it past her to have 1) threatened the officer with violence, or 2) offered sexual favors in an attempt to keep from getting a ticket. Ahh, does the heart proud to know that she was sharing a message of Jesus Christ to the Norwegians!)

Anyway, back to the article in today's paper: the suicidal depressed meth guy evidently had some fun with a nail gun. Two days after his nail gun frenzy, he went to the doctor complaining of a headache and neck pain. The doctors couldn't find any reason for the headaches (the nails were finishing nails that went slightly under the skin and since the entry points were in his hair, they didn't see anything awry). Anyway, imagine their surprise when they X-rayed him and saw a dozen nails in his head! They gave him a tetnus shot (what else could you do?) and flew him to a hospital in Portland, where the nails were successfully removed and he left the hospital walking on his own. The hospital noted that he still had "some thinking problems, including diffuculty with concrete reasoning and abstract thought." (Although that's a little unfair, because the same thing could be said from most anyone from a red state.) The guy refused to let the article use his name. I can't imagine why not--that's something worthy of the Guiness Book of World Records and he's refusing the limelight?!?