Axis of Evil

I had a run-in with the Axis of Evil yesterday that still has me aggravated. No, I'm not talking about North Korea, etc. I'm talking about ATM fees, the DMV, and the Department of Homeland Security. Three things that strike fear and terror in more American's lives than some totalitarian government on the other side of the planet ever did. Here's what happened:

My driver's license will expire on my birthday, which is coming up (it's February 10, in case anyone want to get me something). There's a DMV office in the mall near my work, so I went over there on my lunch break. When I got there, there were signs everywhere saying that they only accept cash and checks! Hello! This is the twenty-first frickin' CENTURY, folks. They had an ATM machine right in their lobby to get cash, but since I wasn't about to pay $4 for a withdrawal, I walked to a nearby bank that doesn't charge fees. I finally make it back to the DMV and wait and wait and WAIT! Finally, after more than 20 minutes, I got to see a clerk, who took all my information and then, after she was done... THEN she told me that the computer connection to Homeland Security was down and that I wouldn't be able to actually GET my license right then. I could wait, but there was no guarantee it would be back up at all that day. It's a good thing they tell you stuff like that AFTER you've traipsed around the area, stood in line with the unwashed masses, enduring all their questions, and STILL don't get what you came for! That's probably how heaven is going to be! Here I am, doing everything almost everything pretty much everything some of the stuff I'm supposed to be doing, and when I get to the pearly gates, the attendant will say, "Well, that was all well and good, but unless you were a snake handler, you can't come in." Noooooooooo.

Speaking of religion, while I was typing this, I got a call on my cell from AN ANGEL! I answered and a woman asked me how my day was going and then proceeded to tell me that it was a beautiful day shining with the light of Christ... and then wished me a good day. Didn't that angel know she was calling my CELL PHONE! I had to pay a minute of airtime for that message... and she didn't even tell me anything I NEEDED to know--like next week's lottery numbers or at the least tell me how Kitty is doing (I'm figuring she's getting in trouble clawing all the white funiture up there). Anyway, I'll show that angel; I'm going to deduct that phone charge from this month's tithing.