Nightmares

Don't you love that feeling of being startled awake from a nightmare and the relief that it was only a dream? That you've escaped the monster or knife-wielding maniac or aggressive Mormon missionary? Well I had such an experience this morning. When I woke up, it was with such a relief that my sigh of reassurance woke up Margaret and so she asked me what had gotten me so aggitated. She was thinking that I'd had a dream that there was an intruder in the house or that the Constitution had been altered to allow W to run for a third term or something. Well those scenarios PALE in comparison to the horror of this nightmare. I dreamt that I was with my family at some sporting exhibition and the next event was figure roller skating. As they were prepping the arena, an announcement came over the PA system, listing ME as the first competitor in the men's figure roller skating competition, with the musical accompaniment being Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy!" I looked back at my brother Jarrod, who admitted to signing me up. I can't describe the feeling of dread I experienced in the eternity between trying to come up with the choreography for a skating routine and when my brain mercifully woke me up. What a nightmare! My brain should have known that my skating routine is set to "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam."