Can't... stop... popping!

Given the two-times-the-size-of-Texas floating plastic island floating north of Hawaii, I'm all for finding ways to cut down on plastic usage. In response to this problem, those wily Japanese have created a disposable plastic product to replace disposable plastic... only this one has batteries and a MICROCHIP, so you know its better. The new product, called "PuchiPuchi" is the "infinite bubble wrap toy." Puchipuchi is the Japanese word for a little pop and the word for bubble wrap (how efficient). The product is meant to simulate the feel and sound of popping bubble wrap. Now this is something that can have world-changing ramifications! Imagine dropping loads of these over war zones and having the fighting come to a complete halt as soldiers drop their weapons to be completely overwhelmed with the compulsion popping bubble wrap (and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. If you have a pulse and human DNA, you are unable to stop your fingers from eliciting that satisfying pop that comes from bubble wrap... maybe it's a carry-over from our evolutionary past when we were on the African savanna and had to squeeze engorged ticks to kill them. We might never know.). But the madness doesn't stop there! Every 100th pop emits a sound effect instead of a pop. Some of the special sounds include "door chime," "barking dog," "fart," "sexy voice," "money getting flushed down the toilet," and "the environment dying." To add even more hysteria surrounding the product, there's a 1 in 1,000 chance that you'll get a "lucky" PuchiPuchi that has a heart-shaped bubble. Oh man! You're friends would be soooo jealous if you got one of those! It's all so much to handle. Stop the insanity! The company producing them partnered with an actual bubble wrap company, so you know the sounds are authentic and not those totally artificial sounds that are so obviously fake that come out of Paris Hilton.