In the continuing series of looking back on yesteryear, here's my ordeal with home improvement:

August 13, 2004: Whitewash
Six long years of working to turn the industrial wasteland that was our backyard into the veritable edenic setting has come to a conclusion today when the painter we hired finished painting our awning. It amazes me how much a good cleaning and fresh white paint can make a shabby patio look downright presentable.

After the painting was completed, I noticed that the yard light wasn't exactly up to par--it was just a little cheap fixture we found at Home Depot. The fixture was okay, but the glass was pretty mundane--plus it was clear, so the bare light bulb wasn't exactly aesthetically pleasing. Margaret had the great idea of buying art glass to replace it, so I went down to a glass store and picked out a cool streaked opaque glass that was perfect. The price-gouging store, however, knew that inexperienced suckers who wanted such things are willing to pay a premium for simple glass cuts--$5 per item! I wasn't about to pay $20 for the four pieces of glass that I needed--especially since I only paid $7 for the glass--so I bought a little glass cutter at the store. The saleslady showed me how it worked--deceptively simple. The first cut--success! It followed the cut line perfectly. The second cut--d'oh, not as straight. I decided to use that piece in the back that faced the house, since people wouldn't see it anyway. Well, I proceeded to repeat the same problem for all four pieces, wasting the entire piece of glass. At this point, I'm out $7 for the glass, $5 for the cutter, and now another $7 for another piece of glass. Do I cut my losses and just have the store cut the pieces, even though it kills me to facilitate their exploitation of neophytes who can't cut glass? Or do I try again and risk a repeat of my previous results? Such weighty matters are not to be made lightly--if only there were an oracle nearby that I could consult. Since there isn't, I'll probably vacillate on a decision up until I'm standing in the glass shop. Good thing my decision-making skills are so atrophied that I'm incapacitated by a $20 decision; no wonder we don't have any kids yet!

Follow-up: Well, it's been a year and a half since then, and I'm proud to announce that the crookedly cut glass is still in the light fixture--plus it gets even BETTER: since one of the pieces wouldn't stay in, I cut a piece of plastic vellum and just stuck it in. So add sloth to my growing list of sins.